New Chapters in my Life

Last Saturday my dad told my mom that he was filing for divorce. They have been separated for almost a year now, and things have not been easy. He decide it’s time for it to end, that he can’t be how or be what he wants to unless he’s no longer attached to my mom. […]

via The Beginning — liveinthehope

Hi, guys. My last post spoke of my desires for the new year. The big important one was to live more hopefully than ever before. I’m really gonna need it this year.

My dad is divorcing my mom. We’ve seen that it could go like this for quite a while now, but to know that it is actually gonna happen is a weird mixture of emotions. Relief at finally knowing what’s gonna happen, sadness, hurt, anger, bitterness, and anxiety are all things I’m struggling with right now.

I have decided to begin another blog that’s more set up for chronicling some of my thoughts and feelings through this process. I hope to connect with other kids who are going through the same things as me. The post above is beginning of my blogging journey.

If anyone knows others who have been affected by divorce and think that my new blog may bless them, please share it with them. My hope and prayer is that the Lord will use my pain and suffering in a way that only helps and heals others (an my own) hearts. 

God bless, Gabriellyn.

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2017: A New Years Message

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A year ago to this day I posted a New Years message. It was a message that I myself had just recently learned. I spoke of the strength of who Jesus is. How HE is big enough for all the pain that has ever and ever will be.

I posted it and a very close friend of mine spoke of how much it had meant to her, how the things I had spoken of had blessed her due to the hard year she had had. I was so happy and excited for her.

I was so glad that the post had helped even one person, especially my best friend. I thought contentedly that the post had done the Lord’s purpose, helped my friend.

And, in my human nearsightedness, I thought it had completed it’s mission and that the things I had spoken of had served their complete purpose.

But little did I know that the words I had written would become incredibly poignant to me over the next year.

In February my parents separated. We didn’t see it coming. It was unexpected. And it was hard in ways that you wouldn’t expect.

This year felt like death so many times. And, in truth, I think that it was in a way.  We died as we were. And it hurt like hell. Hundreds and hundreds of hours of pain and sadness and anger. Battles with hate and bitterness, fear, depression, and anxiety for the future. It has been so bitterly hard. 

But the Lord was with us the whole way. AND HE WAS ENOUGH. Jesus WAS and IS enough for the pain, the fear, the hurt. 

This past year often times victory was simply believing that God loved me. And that was the best I could do. It was hard to have faith, it was hard to believe, it was hard to hope. 

But, Jesus brought me through it all. Stronger, and in some unbelievable way, more peaceful and content than before. 

This past year has truly taught me the lesson I wrote of last year. And I am sure every year comes during my life will continue to teach me this lesson. 

In 2017 I have, to and extent, learned to rest in Jesus and realize that He is enough for everything awful. In 2018 I want to learn to hope. Hope with more strength, joy, and belief than ever before.

Hope is something of miracle in and of itself. Hope, even if the dream you are hoping towards doesn’t occur when you want or ever at all, still gives you a gift. And I want it. I want every blessing the Lord wants to give me. And hope is one of those blessings. Sothis 2018 I am making no resolutions. I am merely hoping to hope.

2017 has been so hard, but good. So painful, but necessary. So awful, but so, so much of a blessing. I thank the Lord for it. For us, 2017 was the death of the people we were, the wrong beliefs we held, and the painful monotony of our lives. 

But 2018 will be a year of discovering the people we are and will be, for learning to truths to believe in, and for finding the rhythm of a healthy, God blessed life.

For 2018 I am choosing to hope. I will live with hope and belief that this year is going to be a year of beautiful, bursting life. Hope that God has never and will never abandon us. Hope that tomorrow will be even better than today.

” ‘Hope‘ is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –
And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm
I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.”
–Emily Dickinson
So, to 2017, I say goodbye. Thank you for the blessings you’ve held, even if they sometimes hurt. To 2018, I say hello. I can’t wait to see the fulfillment of my hopes in you. 

December 31st: A New Year’s Message

At midnight we will cross over into 2017, and this year, I have a challenge for you. I’m asking you all to do one thing…remember

Remember the Heart of Christmas. Well, that’s easy enough, right? Not necessarily. I am not just talking about the tingly feeling that you get on Christmas morning, or the warm feeling you get when you hear your favorite holiday song. But to remember Jesus

This holiday season I was in the living room with my family, we were watching the news. On came a story, a little girl had been brutally murdered. How awful! But if that wasn’t bad enough, the suspects were the child’s mother and her boyfriend. How horrible is that, right? How can you be evil enough to beat your own child to death?

I sat there on the couch, and a thought came to my mind. There is so much tragedy in this world. It wasn’t a question, I wasn’t looking for an answer, but one came anyway. JESUS. The word was spoken into my brain the instant after my thought.

At first I was like “…yeah, I know. Jesus was born for us, that’s great,” But the more I thought about it, the more awed I was. In one word, all the tragedy and sadness this world as ever known and ever will know is answered. Jesus is big enough for all of it!

That experience has led to this post. As well as the knowledge in my heart that I don’t have to understand why the bad things are allowed to happen, I only have to realize that He is big enough for them. 

2017 is scary to a lot of people. Whether for political reasons, personal problems/goals, or simply fear of what it may bring on all fronts. At some point this year, every one of you will despair. But! In that moment, rememberJesus. He is enough.

So this is my challenge to you: when you are upset this upcoming year, try to remember that God loved us enough to send down His only Son. Every time you see a news story, Facebook post, or tweet that spells doom, all you have to do is remember Jesus.

2017 is going to be a year for tragedy. Just like every other year since Adam and Eve sinned, there will be death, strife, and sadness. But, it will also be a year for love, grace, miracles, redemption, hope, peace, and happiness

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”-John 16:33

Happy New Year 2017!